Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions:
Why can’t I adjust, it has been months since I moved here.
What’s wrong with me?
Why am I missing home so much?
Why can’t I cope?
I can’t even concentrate?
At one point in your life, you must have thought: “Everyone goes through it, and they
seem to do well after a point, why can’t I?”
You know what you are going through is not a normal ‘adjustment’ problem, it is
something different.
Let’s see this story to get a better insight into what you might be going through:
The story is of Sameer (name changed) a 20-year-old student whose complaints were that of being aloof, low, lack of concentration in academics, and being aggressive towards his parents.
He has been an above-average student throughout his schooling which took place in
Middle East. His parents had an authoritarian parenting style that is, the parents had
a high level of expectation of him, especially his dad but provided little in the
way of feedback and nurturance. He started showing the symptoms when he moved out to join a liberal arts program away from home. During the first semester itself, he showed adjustment
issues and hardly had friends which made him aloof. The weather too affected his concentration in studies as he missed classes. His father kept a constant check on him as he called him after every 20-25 minutes which further annoyed him.
His physical health also suffered as he caught some viral fever which made him miss home. Halfway through the year, he decided to drop college and return home. While at home, his mother reported that he was not happy and had a low mood most of the time. The next year, he signed up for a Chemical Engineering Programme and within days he started feeling ‘homesick’ and ‘emotionally unstable’. He felt tired most of the day and wanted to sleep for most part of the day. His eating habits had changed and there was a loss in appetite.
Sameer was well-dressed and was oriented to time, place, and person. He seemed to have a good insight into his problem but seemed very reserved. He was positive about sorting his problems out and going back to finish his education. He has been a shy and timid personality since his adolescent years.
Sameer is not going through a phase where he will eventually learn to adjust but a disorder called “Adjustment disorder”.
What Is Adjustment Disorder?
To put it simply, when there is a change in your environment such that, it causes you significant stress which further results in emotional and or behavioral symptoms in form of feeling sad, worried, withdrawn, etc., then you are going through adjustment disorder.
Stressors
Some of the common stressors are relationship issues (new marriage etc.); the demise of a loved one, moving to a different place, money problems, family issues, sexual problems, unexpected disasters, etc.
How will I know if I am going through it or if someone I know is?
Symptoms of adjustment disorder are powerful enough to cause affect your social as well as work life. You will see changes in behavior such as a person acting rebelliously; being impulsive while taking some major decisions, crying bouts; feelings of sadness and hopelessness surrounding him, withdrawal from people, and physical complaints. You will be able to clearly demarcate the difference in the behavior of the person that is, who he was initially, and changes due to the stressor.
How can I manage?
Going to a therapist will not only help you define your problem clearly but will also, give you a clear indication of what is causing you so much stress in the first place.
The therapies that are being used in the Athoz therapeutic Model are all Mindfulness-based therapies. For example, in the case of Sameer, the therapist started with Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction therapy which basically involved ways to reduce the existing stress and/or anxiety, and/or depression.
Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy was also used in order to bring a change in the thought pattern of the person. Past issues were dealt with care and a more meaningful approach to the present was introduced. Small goals were set between him and the therapist, which Sameer had to fulfill with the constant support of the therapist. Being Mindful helps the person to live in the moment and also makes him let go of the past and worries about the future.
“You are not defeated when you lose. You are defeated when you quit. ”
~ Paulo Coelho
