We were all scared of the dark as children and grew up hearing stories of ghosts and watching horror movies. Most of us stopped being scared of it. Some of us didn’t. Deepa* was one such person. A 37-year-old married woman, Deepa* had an intense fear of the dark since her childhood. A month before she came to us, one of her relatives had died, thus exacerbating her anxiety and manifesting as breakdowns. During Deepa*’s first session, she revealed that she also had a fear of ghosts and the paranormal. She said that ever since the death of the relative, she had extreme fear and sleepless nights most of the week as compared to it being once in a fortnight before the death. The first few sessions catered to psycho-educating Deepa* how primal instincts and survival cause the brain and the body to react in a particular way. Along with this, she was also introduced to mindfulness to help her respond to the unpleasant thoughts she has. As homework, she was asked to write positive self-affirmations every morning which can help her along with a daily journal which can help her prove to herself that nothing had gone significantly wrong in spite of her brain telling her otherwise. As the sessions progressed, Deepa* engaged in exposure therapy where she agreed to experience the situation in a safe space so that they can reconstruct ways of dealing with it. Once this happened, in a dark room facility, with Deepa*’s consent, we tried to change the perception of darkness and death and the danger that Deepa’s* brain perceives. In spite of initial discomfort, mindfulness and psycho-educating Deepa* had helped her surf those waves of discomfort. As the activity was repeated multiple times, she was able to handle it better. She also learnt to re-establish meanings to words. For example, death equaled ghosts and the working on re-establishment of words helped her understand that, it didn’t have to be that way. This re-establishment of words helped her understand how powerful the meaning we give to words and concepts are and had a significant impact on her. (*name changed for anonymity)

They say time and tide wait for none. Neither does grief. At the age of 20, Tina* came to our centre stating that she felt very distant from her partner and was feeling very low. During the first session with our psychologist, she revealed that she had lost her grandmother, who she was very close to, a little over six months ago. She stated that ever since the death, she had been feeling ‘sad’ most of the time and didn’t feel like doing anything. She said that even after 6 months, she found it near to impossible to talk or even think about her grandmother as it made her too upset. Once the therapy process started, our psychologist encouraged her to speak about the loss of her grandmother to see how she had dealt with the loss. Tina* then admitted that she avoided thinking or feeling anything related to her grandmother and she also said that she didn’t want to do that anymore and move on while being able to cherish her grandmother’s memories. From the next session onwards, Tina* worked on accepting that her grandmother was indeed gone and it wasn’t in her control. She was also reminded that it was okay to grieve and voice it out. They also explored the idea of both positive and negative changes and how she dealt with them. Tina was suggested to create a list of words that she felt she could associate her pain with and words like denial, anger, guilt, sorrow, confusion came up. Once Tina* felt validated and saw that it was okay to feel such different things, she saw that there were a wide range of methods of grieving and this helped her feel better and not alone. Their sessions really focused on naming the feelings felt to acknowledge them and move on. Towards termination, Tina* found it difficult to let go of her grandmother and needed to be reminded that letting go of her grandmother did not necessarily mean she was forgetting her grandmother. Our psychologist helped her understand that Tina* could keep the memories of her grandmother alive and still move on and let go of the difficult emotions that followed. Our psychologist suggested ways she could do this. For example, one technique was to create a list of all her favorite memories of her grandmother and put it somewhere safe which couldn’t be forgotten as they were tangible. Tina* appreciated this idea since that was her biggest fear of letting go and found it much easier to let go. (*name changed for anonymity)

Stammering is not something to be worried about if you’re a kid. But Keerti*, a 39-year-old woman struggled with speech stammering since her childhood. She was extremely ashamed about it and didn’t know what to do. Once she came in and started talking about her life to one of our in-house psychologists, our psychologist came to know about her life history and realized that Keerti* struggled a lot with self-compassion. Keerti* mentioned that ‘everything in her life was perfect and the stammering was something that tarnished the perfection.’ From the next session onwards, our psychologist focused on reviving compassion in her life and emphasizing that stammering wasn’t something she needed to be ashamed of. When Keerti* struggled with enabling compassion in her life, the psychologist helped restructure the way she viewed her stammering. Although it was hard to change overnight, this insight helped Keerti* understand that as a child experiencing distress stammering was bound to happen but she wasn’t a child anymore. In the next few sessions, they practiced how to calm unhelpful thoughts and focus on rational thinking. Keerti* benefitted from the sessions and was much less ashamed of her stammering. Whenever Keerti* felt the shame cropping up, she would use the techniques she was taught during the sessions. A focus on mindfulness techniques was suggested to refocus on acceptance on an everyday basis which will help her in the future too. Over time, Keerti’s* fear of stammering and her notions of perfectionism reduced therefore helping her overall stammering as well. (*name changed for anonymity)

Not everyone feels comfortable with their body and identity and that’s okay. While labels can help people define themselves, they can also put people in a box they struggle to get out of. This was the case with Surya*, a 40-year-old man who came in wanting to be a woman. A married man, he would use cosmetics and female undergarments to feel like himself. Although he wanted to be a woman, he also felt guilty and didn’t want a permanent change since he loved his family and didn’t want to put them through any form of distress. He also researched natural forms of testosterone blockers and said that he consumes them to feel better. On further probing, he revealed that he was very lonely and living in fear since only one other person in his life knew his sexuality. Surya* was going through the dilemma as to what he wanted to do but didn’t want it to be permanent. Our psychologist focused on practicing self-compassion and acceptance that no matter what he identifies as, it’s okay. The mindfulness techniques helped Surya* be compassionate and kind to his own thoughts and feelings. After around 4 sessions with us, Surya* revealed that he was able to let go of the struggle in his mind even though it took a lot of his energy from his side. Another issue he had was that he felt that he was constantly thinking about women’s undergarments and cosmetics and didn’t know what to do. He explained it as an urge that he felt like he had no control over. When Surya* expressed this, our psychologist helped him surf the urge by telling him to do nothing when the urge pops up or distract himself. Although he kept researching the products, his urge to buy them had stopped. Once progress was made, our psychologist encouraged him to attend events, participate in activities where he would feel more seen and heard. Events involving the queer circle and the LGBTQ+ community were introduced so that he could feel less alone and be more confident in his identity. (*name changed for anonymity)

Naila* came in initially with complaining of college stress and issues with her interpersonal relationships that she wanted to work on. A 19-year-old college going woman, Naila* found herself having panic and anger outbursts along with stress about her future. After the initial session, our psychologist listened to her and suggested some relaxation techniques and a mindfulness routine. Naila* came back stating that it wasn’t helping her and our psychologist helped her identify what her coping strategies were and found that she resorts to suppression. Therefore, Naila* was suggested to talk to her friend, maintain a journal to process her experiences and information before her thoughts lead to a panic attack.. When she spoke about her interpersonal relationships, she expressed that she fights with her friends a lot and gets mad at them unnecessarily even if she didn’t want to. She had started distancing her friends due to the above reasons and didn’t know what to do. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy helped her realize that she didn’t have to take everything personally and that not everyone is out to ‘get her’. Our psychologist suggested that she meet and spend time with her friends and see how felt when she actively worked on her distorted thoughts. During one of the sessions, Naila* brought up the fact that she didn’t identify with the heteronormative sexual beliefs. She was very hesitant to talk about her identity and so, she was reminded that the therapeutic space was safe, confidential and a non-judgemental space for her to express herself. In spite of her struggling to open up, our psychologist constantly reminded her that however she was feeling was okay and that it didn’t matter how she identified. She was taught that she could be exactly who she is in terms of her sexual orientation and people around her who loved her would accept her for who she is. Once the reassurances and reminders were more emphasized upon, she started treating herself better and her interpersonal relationship (*name changed for anonymity)

We all have good friends, close friends, acquaintances and well-wishers. When we don’t feel appreciated by our loved ones, it’s possible to feel sad. This is the story of Harshit*, a 21-year-old who came to The Mind Research Foundation stating that his friends weren’t treating him well making him question his self-worth, confidence leading to a reduction in socialization and heightened isolation. On further conversation with Harshit*, he said that his distress revolved around his changed relationships with his friends from the past 3-4 months. He also mentioned that he would prioritize them and put their needs above his own and that would make him even more disappointed with his friends and himself. Sensing that he lacked assertiveness in his everyday life, our psychologist started understanding his values and beliefs to get a better understanding of how he viewed himself and the world around him. Once our psychologist got a better idea, they engaged in Bull’s eye which is a technique that focuses on your values and how far or close you are to them. As a result, Harshit worked on meditation, his lifestyle, engaged in regular exercise, socializing through his favorite hobbies (3D art) and establishing healthy boundaries and being assertive about his needs. The sessions focused on acceptance with the changed relationships with his friends and focused on his commitment to extracurricular activities so that he wouldn’t depend only on his existing friends for support. (*name changed for anonymity)