John* a 31-year-old male came to The Mind Research Foundation with complaints of being addicted to porn and compulsively masturbating. It was adversely affecting his sleep which affected his work performance as he was not able to focus on his work. When he learned that this behavior was affecting him on a daily basis, he decided to seek help. Apart from this, he also had issues with impulsivity which led to anger and spending money recklessly.

After scheduling a session with our psychologist and explaining the above, the therapy process itself began with psycho-educating John* regarding addiction and how it works. The reward pathway in our brains which was responsible for maintaining addictive behaviors, in his case consumption of porn and masturbatory practices was explained to him. This psychoeducation proved extremely effective in terms of mapping his behavior and helping him understand that whatever was happening wasn’t his fault. To help identify his triggers better, John* was asked to maintain a journal that would help him and the psychologist describe, explain, understand, and predict his behavior. After the first week of recording, better identification of triggers was made.

In the following therapy sessions, a technique called urge surfing was taught to John* in which alternative behaviors for the maladaptive coping mechanism were taught. The nature of an urge and auto-pilot was also explained to him in which our minds automatically go into an auto-pilot mode when an urge comes and the person automatically satisfies the urge by engaging in the behavior.

John* was taught through mindfulness to accept the urge as just an urge and not something that has to translate into action. The importance of recognizing the urge or craving and accepting the impermanence of it also helped him. The practice of formal mindfulness was encouraged and conducted in sessions as well so he gets a better understanding and practice of the same. An added element for him was to note in his journal what had helped him surf the urge rather than get pulled in by it. Another important aspect for John* was having 2 other anchor points, that is, having 2 people to talk to when the urge was too overwhelming. This also helped him as it acted as a distraction and further delayed the urge which he was then able to fight off successfully.

Gradually, as the sessions progressed, his overpowering need to watch porn and masturbate began to lessen and he felt more empowered. He was also able to find ways to deal with his anger in a more healthy and respectful manner and also use the techniques he learned to manage his reckless spending. He learned that there are better ways to deal with things and learned to surf the urges like a pro rather than get consumed by them, through which he was able to function as a better person on a personal as well as a professional level.

(*name changed for anonymity)